I received a blessing today from a dear old friend and it got me to thinking about myself and the words that were said, or should I say, words that were written. Five little words, "You are a good man" I know that these words were meant in love and with the greatest sincerity and yet for some reason I found myself feeling a little uneasy. And though I was very flattered and thankful for such kind words, I sat and thought about myself and whether or not I was in fact a good man.
Life is fragile and brief and there are as many paths as there are people. Yet, the path that many of us, including myself, tend to go down is the one that is easy, selfish, prideful, broad and full of sin. And for a time, even an extended period of time, this path seem like the right one, even for Christians.
Unfortunately, this path, though wide, is congested, plagued with pot-holes, barriers, detours, speed traps and utter destruction. There are so many people on it going so many directions that it's impossible to know where you're going, how to get there and there is nobody directing traffic. And pretty soon it becomes very evident to those on it that they must direct themselves, they must fight for what is theirs and at times, they must bully or manipulate or scheme or do whatever they have to do just to keep moving forward.
Sadly, this path has many side roads, tunnels, turnoffs and underground parking that can take someone headed in the wrong direction and make them truly lost.
I'm a regular guy--Husband, Father, Friend, Coach, who not only was a regular on this path but an expert of sorts. I knew all the haunts, the places to hide, the wide open spaces and sadly, the darkest corners where nobody speaks, where anger and hate are king and if you're not careful, you won't make it out alive.
I almost didn't make it out alive or should I say, I was finally made to live once God swooped down and rescued me. It didn't come without a price, though. There were plenty of heartaches and trials and just when I thought I couldn't take it, when I thought God wasn't there and when all I held dear was on the verge of being gone, God revealed Himself to me in a way I had never seen. And in that final blow, that knockout punch, I stood at that fork in the road. For the first time I took that step down the narrow and sweet path that leads to forgiveness, acceptance, grace, freedom, direction and love....lots of love! And the greatest thing about it is there is someone there directing traffic. The road map is clear, the signs are posted and easy to read and just as "Jill" in my GPS says "Recalculating" when I take a wrong turn, God in His kindness does the same!
This is what I though about today when hearing that I was a good man. And for a while as I sat there and thought about my own life I was disheartened by my own shame, by the mistakes I have made and the ones made to me. However, the good news is that the broken road has been paved over and that narrow path, the path I am on is filled with a sense of direction and hope.
I think Oscar Wilde said it well, "What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessing in disguise" Truer words could not have been spoken!
You are a good man, Chad, now seems to have a sweet sound in my ear as I reflect on how I got here. And make no mistake about it, I am a good man but not because of what I have done. It's not because of the things I say or do or how much I give of my time or talents or gifts...no, I am a good man because of what was done for me. And the greatest blessing I could receive in the compliment given today isn't because it makes me feel good....which it does, but because I know that others, like my friend, see something different in me. Sure, they see a man, a husband, father and friend but what I hope they see and what I think my friend today saw was Christ reflected in me....which is the greatest compliment that I could ever get!
Thank you, Dana!
~CJ
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
A Step of.....
"What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step" ~ C.S. Lewis
Driving down the street the other day I noticed a man at a crosswalk waiting for the light to change. I was waiting at the same light and I couldn't help but take notice of him. This man stood tall and deliberate with a purpose, a goal, as if he were headed to the most important place he would ever go. As I watched him, maybe a minute, I was able to gather several bits of information that while I can't say are all together true, gave me an accurate assessment of the kind of man I think he is. He was tall, in shape, happy, deliberate, careful, aware of his surroundings, confident and blind. Yes, he was blind and I would have never guessed had I not seen his walking stick. And I thought to myself how many times I had seen people just like him and felt pity, felt sorry, maybe even times when I felt nothing at all.
Sight is one of those common types of Grace that God gives to most of us, including me. And while I wasn't born with the most perfect of eyes, I have indeed been blessed with the ability to see, which is more than the man I saw on the street. The most simple of things for the sighted person are taken for granted hundreds if not thousands of times daily....and I am no exception to that. To put one step in front of the other and walk or perhaps to run is something so simple. The destination could be anywhere but the way we do it is the same. One foot, then the other and then repeat. Sounds simple but is it really?
I had the great pleasure of watching each of my three kids take their first steps. Each of them were different in their style but all the same in function. One step, then another and then repeat! And while watching them fall and stumble and run into things was at times very funny, it was the times when they hurt and ran into things or fell hard that was the most difficult. And one of the greatest acts of love and satisfaction as a Dad was to extend a finger, let them wrap that whole hand around it and walk together slowly with careful deliberation and care to choose a path free of obstacles or danger. One step at a time was never more safe for them then when being guided, cared for and instructed by Mom or Dad. But eventually the bitter-sweet reality of independence shows up and taking one step at a time simply turns into walking.
As a middle-aged man, yes that's right, middle-aged... In a great trial I was reminded by my own ability to walk and run and just how I put one foot in front of the other. I was reminded that it wasn't too often in life that I was deliberate in taking one step at a time, which in part, was why I was going through this trial to begin with. I had run when I should have walked...or more importantly, I should have slowed down, taken care to see what was in front of me and listened and learned from my surrounding. And there were times when I walked when I should have run...the times when those important or dangerous or pressing things should have been dealt with and were not. This is the type of lazy, take life for granted, there's always a tomorrow type of attitude. This is what led to the third and most difficult way of moving which in the end, though I didn't see it at the time was the most eye opening and humbling way to get to my final destination. God in His kindness to me had brought me to my knees and forced me to crawl...the place where it all started, the place I watched each of my kids outgrow not so long ago.
But here I was a grown man crawling on my knees and the only option was to get up and run, something I had done all my life or to sit there, cry out for help and let God teach me to take a step and another. And in that moment I could see His hand reached out to me and in His amazing Grace, He prompted me to take hold of it. And in the same way I remember taking my own children by the hand, I, too, was being led by the God of all creation, the Father who loves and chose me. But this was a perfect love, a perfect instruction, a perfect sense of safety...a safety that is incomparable to anything I could offer.
God showed me how to take a step...that type of faith that comes only from Him. I was often reminded in this time about Peter and the encounter with Jesus on the water.
"He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” ~Matthew 14: 29-31
Here I was calling out to God like Peter and taking that first step was the most difficult. But just as Peter I, too, got scared and cried out again. Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of me. And in doing so he began to show me how to take the next step and the next and the next.
In life there will always be obstacles, hazards, detours, hills, valleys, challenges and countless things that can get us off course. But the good news is that God in His amazing love will guide you with each step. He will make the path straight if with each step there is faith. And like Peter, who stepped out of the boat in faith, He will be there even in our times of doubt as long as we cry out.
For me, like the blind man I saw on the street, I have direction, confidence, a purpose and goal to take one step at a time to the most important place I will ever go. And there with me with each step and there waiting when I get there will be Jesus, the one in whom I trust, the one in whom I depend on, the one who holds my hand, the one who saved me, the one who guides me, the one who paved the way and the one who loves me more than any other....forever!
Driving down the street the other day I noticed a man at a crosswalk waiting for the light to change. I was waiting at the same light and I couldn't help but take notice of him. This man stood tall and deliberate with a purpose, a goal, as if he were headed to the most important place he would ever go. As I watched him, maybe a minute, I was able to gather several bits of information that while I can't say are all together true, gave me an accurate assessment of the kind of man I think he is. He was tall, in shape, happy, deliberate, careful, aware of his surroundings, confident and blind. Yes, he was blind and I would have never guessed had I not seen his walking stick. And I thought to myself how many times I had seen people just like him and felt pity, felt sorry, maybe even times when I felt nothing at all.
Sight is one of those common types of Grace that God gives to most of us, including me. And while I wasn't born with the most perfect of eyes, I have indeed been blessed with the ability to see, which is more than the man I saw on the street. The most simple of things for the sighted person are taken for granted hundreds if not thousands of times daily....and I am no exception to that. To put one step in front of the other and walk or perhaps to run is something so simple. The destination could be anywhere but the way we do it is the same. One foot, then the other and then repeat. Sounds simple but is it really?
I had the great pleasure of watching each of my three kids take their first steps. Each of them were different in their style but all the same in function. One step, then another and then repeat! And while watching them fall and stumble and run into things was at times very funny, it was the times when they hurt and ran into things or fell hard that was the most difficult. And one of the greatest acts of love and satisfaction as a Dad was to extend a finger, let them wrap that whole hand around it and walk together slowly with careful deliberation and care to choose a path free of obstacles or danger. One step at a time was never more safe for them then when being guided, cared for and instructed by Mom or Dad. But eventually the bitter-sweet reality of independence shows up and taking one step at a time simply turns into walking.
As a middle-aged man, yes that's right, middle-aged... In a great trial I was reminded by my own ability to walk and run and just how I put one foot in front of the other. I was reminded that it wasn't too often in life that I was deliberate in taking one step at a time, which in part, was why I was going through this trial to begin with. I had run when I should have walked...or more importantly, I should have slowed down, taken care to see what was in front of me and listened and learned from my surrounding. And there were times when I walked when I should have run...the times when those important or dangerous or pressing things should have been dealt with and were not. This is the type of lazy, take life for granted, there's always a tomorrow type of attitude. This is what led to the third and most difficult way of moving which in the end, though I didn't see it at the time was the most eye opening and humbling way to get to my final destination. God in His kindness to me had brought me to my knees and forced me to crawl...the place where it all started, the place I watched each of my kids outgrow not so long ago.
But here I was a grown man crawling on my knees and the only option was to get up and run, something I had done all my life or to sit there, cry out for help and let God teach me to take a step and another. And in that moment I could see His hand reached out to me and in His amazing Grace, He prompted me to take hold of it. And in the same way I remember taking my own children by the hand, I, too, was being led by the God of all creation, the Father who loves and chose me. But this was a perfect love, a perfect instruction, a perfect sense of safety...a safety that is incomparable to anything I could offer.
God showed me how to take a step...that type of faith that comes only from Him. I was often reminded in this time about Peter and the encounter with Jesus on the water.
"He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” ~Matthew 14: 29-31
Here I was calling out to God like Peter and taking that first step was the most difficult. But just as Peter I, too, got scared and cried out again. Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of me. And in doing so he began to show me how to take the next step and the next and the next.
In life there will always be obstacles, hazards, detours, hills, valleys, challenges and countless things that can get us off course. But the good news is that God in His amazing love will guide you with each step. He will make the path straight if with each step there is faith. And like Peter, who stepped out of the boat in faith, He will be there even in our times of doubt as long as we cry out.
For me, like the blind man I saw on the street, I have direction, confidence, a purpose and goal to take one step at a time to the most important place I will ever go. And there with me with each step and there waiting when I get there will be Jesus, the one in whom I trust, the one in whom I depend on, the one who holds my hand, the one who saved me, the one who guides me, the one who paved the way and the one who loves me more than any other....forever!
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