Is it not true that we all have so much to be thankful for in life? As a husband and father it is never more evident when I look around at what is before me! I would suspect that if you asked a group of people what they are most thankful for you would get just as many answers as you have people. Love, happiness, children, memories...they all bring a real and solid reason to be thankful. I am thankful for all of these and many, many more. But what am I most thankful for? That is the question I have asked myself a thousand times over the last several months and without fail, the answer that keeps coming back to me is Forgiveness. Not only being forgiven but having the ability to also forgive.
Thomas Fuller said it well: " He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven "
If we are honest, and I mean that total and complete honesty that comes in the wake of a trial or challenge or argument or conflict, I think most would find it easier to see the need for our own forgiveness than the need to forgive someone else. Seeking forgiveness can oftentimes come with an expectation, for personal gain...even if it is for pure reasons. And with genuine repentance, forgiveness can set you free, take away your shame and be used to restore relationships.
Forgiving someone else takes on a whole new type of challenge for most people. If you are wronged it can be easy to stand in judgement and justify anger. But what stands in the way of most, including myself at times, is pride. Should I forgive someone if they don't ask for forgiveness? Think about it for a second........? Why don't we forgive others for what they do? Do I demand to be paid back from someone who does me harm? Do I make them suffer by keeping my distance, do I make them feel bad or do I go to the extreme of paying evil for evil? Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes...!
In the past several months it has become very clear to me just how inferior my ability to forgive was, or better stated, how disobedient I was to how God wants me to respond to those that have and do hurt me.
I'm a fighter by nature....you know, the kind of guy who doesn't back down from a challenge or fight or argument. I wouldn't consider myself a bully but I may as well be one because when push comes to shove, my sinful heart doesn't want to lose. This, in part, is why I am a fighter. To be outdone, or stepped on or betrayed or taken advantage of is not something I like and probably not something any of us like. But the fact of the matter is that no matter what, even if these things are done to me, my response will not change or take away from what's already been done. If someone says hurtful words to me, my response will not undo what's already been said. If someone lies to me, my response will not make it truth.
My wife often tells me that it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile....and in fact, the body releases endorphins when you smile that make you feel good. I know this to be true, especially lately as I begin to smile more. So why do I smile more? There are a variety of reasons but the root, the thing that brings much joy or maybe it just prevents sorrow, is the ability to forgive. If I do not forgive it leads to anger, which leads to hate, which gives someone else power over me, which leads to being in bondage and a slave to sin, which leads to destruction.
I'm sure that, if you're like me, you've thought about all you've done wrong to others and compared it to how many times you have been wronged. And I'm pretty sure that it's probably easier to rattle off all those infractions against you or at least they probably come to mind much more quickly. Why is that? For me it's easier because in my own subconscious or maybe even at the forefront of my heart, I keep a record....an internal scorecard that sadly, can be looked at, evaluated and used in a very wrong way.
The good news, however, is that this scorecard can be wiped clean and even torn up and thrown away. Forgiveness can set not only someone else free but it can set me free, too! Does love keep a record of right and wrong? I think it does but not in the way that it was intended. If Christ had a scorecard it would be completely blank on one side and full on the other.
The greatest way to forgive is to come to terms with my own sin, my own failures, my own selfish desires and to repent. I must look at the wrongs that I have done and in light of those, which are so many I can't even count, I must come to the complete and utter realization that I am not perfect, I am not awesome and in fact, I am no better than anyone else. I must also come to terms with the fact that sin is sin is sin....there are no degrees or levels or big or little ones. If someone
takes or even tries to take away something important to me and I respond in sin...who is worse? Is one act of evil justified by another?
Jesus said, "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" ~Matthew 5:44
I think Jesus had it right, and why not, He is God!
Forgiveness is so vital to being set free...both giving and receiving. It just seems a lot easier to ask for it than it does to offer it up. But the truth of the matter is that to love is to forgive.
The Apostle Paul wrote in I Corinthians 13, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends"
Did you get that? Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. Let me ask you this: How is not forgiving someone getting in the way of how you love them? Or better yet, how is your view on how to love getting in the way?
And in closing I am reminded of the greatest love song every told or heard. It began with a man dying on a cross and the chorus was three days of silence.....no prettier sound was ever heard on earth than the quietness that came and I think that had a little something to do with forgiveness...the greatest act of forgiveness that will ever be demonstrated.
CJ
